Monday, June 17, 2013

I Suck at Blogging

Hey there readers!

Before you yell at me again for not posting for a ridiculously long time [again], I'm sorry! Most of you are friends on Facebook so I'm sure you've at least seen once or twice that I've been INSANELY busy. Not just sorta kinda busy, but so busy that my head nearly popped off once or twice. Adding a blog on top of getting my EMT certification, my photography business, children, losing weight AND a divorce in progress [yes...that's right, the big D word is happening. For those of you who didn't know - and boy, does THAT get complicated!] would have actually made me spontaneously combust.

From here on out, I'd really like to start blogging again at least once or twice a week. Writing is an awesome release for me and getting all my thoughts out there [the good, the bad and the downright ugly] is probably going to be good for me, just as it was before. Plus, for those of you who enjoy reading my thoughts, it works out for you as added entertainment to your life :)

Instead of going on and on about all the stuff that's happened over the last 6 months, I'll wrap it up in a very quick list here:

  1. I lost 20 pounds from TurboFire! WOO! Unfortunately, I still look a tiny bit pregnant. Darn you stubborn belly fat and stretched out uterus!
  2. The photography business has recently started to pick up a lot more and I'm feeling rather inspired lately. If you haven't had a chance, go check out my website!
  3. Not only did I do pretty freaking awesome in my EMT class, I got my national certification as an EMT! So if you need your life saved and you're somewhere near me, I can probably help you out. By the way, it's only "probably" because if you just got shot in the head, I can't really pull that thing out and do immediate surgery...BUT I can slap a giant bandaid on that sucker and take your booty to the hospital! ;)
  4. Corvin and Zander are getting SO BIG and SO SMART! It's crazy. I feel like they were just born the other day. Sometimes I just want to grab them and say SLOW DOWN WITH ALL THIS GROWING UP STUFF! But then I realize that they're toddlers and probably would have no idea what I'm saying. Then they'd slobber on me or poop their pants. You know, the usual.
  5. Ahh the big "D" word. Yes, it's happening. For lots of reasons you may or may not have heard about. I wont go into detail, but I will say I ended it due to several bad decisions on the ex's side of things. So, SINGLE LIFE HERE I AM! If by chance any guys are reading this, let me just say one thing....don't ask me on any dates right now. I'm sort of not very happy with men could actually call me a man hater for the time being. SO if you ask me out and I viciously turn you down, don't say I didn't warn you! Alright...I won't be vicious, but there's a darn good chance that I'm going to say no. This is the time for me to focus on me and my children while my life gets reorganized. I'm actually saving you a lot of trouble here because who really wants to deal with all this craziness right now? I don't even want to deal with it. So, you're welcome.

Speaking of men....let's discuss something here...

WHY ARE GUYS SO DOUCHEY?! Seriously. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I get all sorts of ridiculous comments made to me, how many losers hit on me, how many lame pick up lines I've heard, blah blah blah. It's annoying. It actually makes me want to stay home and snuggle with a bottle of Southern Comfort while watching Magic Mike.

Example: When I shot this last wedding in Peoria I went out and met up with a friend at a karaoke bar. Sang some songs, had some fun, but as the night went on, the douchey guys got more and more brave and aggressive. Some of them proved interesting to talk to, most of them...ehhhhhhh not so much. Pulling my hair [rather hard by the way!] and saying, "I like your hair" with a smile that makes you look like you're having a stroke is NOT the best way to begin hitting on me. Personally, I thought this was common knowledge. However, it happened twice that night. TWICE! Really guys?! I think I got hit on better in elementary school.

Among my hair being pulled, other failed attempts occurred. Continuously grabbing my hand and kissing it when I don't really know you is creepy. If you do this, stop it. You're weird. Putting your arm around me and telling people I'm your girlfriend is not the way to actually make me your girlfriend. Hitting on me, failing, then going over to your friend who is less than 10 feet away and saying really mean things about me, THEN hitting on me AGAIN is DEFINITELY A NO-NO!

WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE?!? asdlkfja;sdlfkjeowimc

Thankfully, I'm raising two little boys who will most certainly never be the sort of guys that do things like this because their mother will teach them how to treat a woman properly. They will not be the sort of guys who are creepy. They will not be the sort of guys who lead a woman on when they have no intention of dating said woman. They will not be the sort of guys who act like they're God's gift to women. They will be absolutely nothing less than respectable gentlemen. The world has too few good men left, so it's up us mommy's and daddy's to raise our boys right.

To all the parents out there with daughters who are around my boy's ages, you're welcome.

Anyway, I have learned today that the reason I attract all these awesome sorry excuses of men is because of my blonde hair, tanned skin and blue eyes. Maybe I should dye my hair a different color, stop going tanning and get colored contacts. Maybe I'll get red ones, because I'm obviously fueled with a firey hatred for the opposite sex lately. Will I actually do this? Probably not. But some days I definitely feel like I should.

Well friends, it's been swell but it's getting to be about that time. I hope you all enjoyed reading my thoughts for the day. I'll try to do another one this week...however I promise nothing. I'm photographing another wedding in Peoria on Friday, then doing two photoshoots the next morning. Then applying for a billion jobs. Then editing my life away. All while trying to spend as much time as possible with my cuties. You could say that I'm a little busy lately.

Until next time,

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